An Absence of Men

Perhaps one of the worst things that the LRA robbed Uganda of is its men. Everywhere I go, there is an obviously lack of men…lots of single mothers, grandmothers, and children.

Many men were taken by the LRA in the war, leaving few remaining.

There are almost no men between the ages of 25-35. They were the prime age for the LRA to target.

Those that are remaining are often physically disabled, alcoholics or totally absent from their families. Sometimes I look at them and see only shells of people. The LRA stripped their ability to protect and provide for their families. You can see how detrimental that is to a man in the alcoholism that is rampant here.

I pray a lot about how to address this issue. As a girl, I feel totally useless. I can disciple women, teach children, and share the Gospel with men, but when it comes to teaching them how to be husbands and daddies, I can do nothing. The majority of missionaries that I’ve met here are young, single women…interesting because the NEED for men is huge here!

There is one dad in Tegot, Godfrey, who is a Christian and has a deep and true desire to grow in his relationship with Christ and to care for his family. He even talks about his desire for Christian community and accountability with other men. This is so cool! Chrissy and I talked to another missionary (married with children) here and asked him to pray about working with Godfrey. Godfrey is a man could seriously change that whole community.

Someone shared a stat the other day that if a child comes to know Christ, the family will convert 15-30% of the time. If a man accepts the Lord, the family will convert over 90% of the time. Not surprising when you look at the way the Bible outlines marriage relationships and men’s v. women’s roles, but still quite incredible.

On a lighter note on the topic, the difference in gender roles here has also been an interesting adjustment for me. Women are definitely viewed as inferior to women here (which is strange because they run the households and do all of the hard work) and there is no concept of a gentleman. As a high-maintenance girl from the south, this continuously catches me off guard. I mean, I am totally used to being taken care of by my dad, brother, and most of the other men in my life as well. More than once I have approached a door at the same time as a Ugandan male and stood there expectantly waiting for him to open. I have also waited for men to offer to carry heavy items. Thankfully, so far I’ve caught myself before embarrassing myself or someone else!

This is not to say that Ugandan men or rude or impolite, the cultural standards are just very different and I am not quite used to them. It gives me a good laugh! I have to also mention that the ECM staff does a really good job of recognizing the difference and most days they open doors and carry the supplies. Plus, in the areas that are really important, like safety and “mzungu prices”, they totally have my back!

Random side note: It has been raining here every night (although most of the Ugandans insist that this is NOT the beginning of rainy season) and the weather has been amazing. It’s 80-82 in the house at night instead of 92 and feels absolutely wonderful! I even had to sleep under a sheet one night it was so “cold!”